November 1st is All Saints Day. It is a holy day of obligation in the Catholic Church and one of my favorite feast days.
On this All Saints Day, I went to Mass early and walked home under a gray sky, just before it rained.
I like walking home from Mass - even though the hill can be challenging - because it gives me a chance to think about my confession, if I made one, and anything else I might want to remember.
These are the things I want to remember from today's service:
All Saints Day gives us an opportunity to honor saints who may not be honored otherwise.
Veneration of the saints is one of the things that sets us apart as Catholics.
Thanks to our Catholic Faith, we are given reason to hope that we may someday be among them.
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For more on All Saints Day, please see today's SSPX Newsletter
Screenshot of a Google image of the Chapel I attend (I hope to share a clearer pic sometime soon)
Last year for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I churned out a 50k paranormal novel. That novel is still in need of revising. I think I will publish it eventually. But it needs LOT of work.
This year, I am not doing NaNoWriMo proper. But I did set a goal for the vampire novel I've been working on. I want to finish the first draft during NaNo (by the end of November).
The working title of the book is The Vampire Trackers. I designed the cover above just last week.
About the Book
I like to think that The Vampire Trackers is Catholic friendly (as opposed to just plain Catholic). I didn't write it in order to share my faith. But I do try to hang on to my moral compass as I write and edit.
Writing about the paranormal without confusing good and evil can be tricky. Maybe it's easier for writers who draw a hard line between right and wrong, like Stoker. But for me it's a challenge.
So I am struggling a bit with the book and how to write it. But I'm still making my daily word count and doing my research and meeting with my critique group. And basically getting it done.
This post shares my new cover and my intention to get the current draft written by the end of November. I hope to share some of my research and a couple of excepts in the weeks and months to come.
Please wish me luck! Or, better still, remember me in your prayers.
Is Near-Death Experience Demonic? Dr. Ray Moody, My Experience & More (Article & Podcast)
October 24, 2022
Lecture and Meeting with Dr. Moody
Several years ago, when I was still very much involved with the Spiritualists, I heard Dr. Ray Moody speak on the topic of near-death experience at a nearby Spiritualist church. Like many people in the audience, I had been influenced by Dr. Moody's first book, "Life After Life" and considered him an authority on near-death experience (a phrase coined by Moody himself).
Written in 1975, "Life After Life," is based on case studies of people who reported having had very similar, apparently spiritual experiences when very near death. The book became a runaway best-seller and near-death experience (or NDE) became a household word.
I found Dr. Moody to be a charming and articulate speaker. His presentation covered a range of NDE related topics which included history, philosophy and the nature of the NDE itself. In this article I will touch upon some of them.
According to Dr. Moody, the common elements of the NDE included the experience of a hyper-reality which is largely indescribable, vivid color, a warm and loving light, the presence of deceased loved ones and a panoramic life review. In some NDEs a being of great compassion conducts the review and tells the individual that they must return to their former life. To the best of my memory, negative or "hellish" NDEs were not discussed.
Dr. Moody talked about the ancient Greeks, and their ideas about life after death, at length. Among other things, we learned that the ancients had a word for spirits who survived death and that these returning dead were called revenants (from the Latin reveniens - "coming back" or "returning").
In mythology, revenants are often animated corpses (similar to classic ideas about vampires) as well as ghosts. If this was referenced in the lecture, I did not make a note of it.
Dr. Moody was especially interested in the practice necromancy in ancient Greece - so interested in this topic, in fact, that visited the ruins of the oracle of the dead in Greece, at Ephyra. Ephyra was a place thought to be the gateway to the underworld.
Upon returned to his home in Anniston Alabama, Dr. Moody set about constructing his own oracle of the dead (or necromanteion). In his book, "Reunions," Moody shares his own experience with the dead in his necromanteion and gives explicit instructions in how to construct one. The women who ran the Spiritualist circle I attended at the time, build her own necromanteion per his instructions.
The Influence of Ancient Greece
...what pagans sacrifice, they sacrifice to demons and not to God. I do not want you to be partners with demons. - 1 Corinthians 10:20-22 NRSV-CE
At the time I heard Dr. Moody speak, I was deeply involved in mediumship under the auspices of the Spiritualists. One of the first things things taught in our weekly "spirit circle" was to connect with our own personal spirit guide who would assist in contacting the dead. My guide, as it turned out, was tied to the same culture that had fascinated Dr. Moody - ancient Greece.
I became convinced of this not through imagination but through the information I was given. This included obscure historic details that I was not aware of prior to my "spirit guide" experience.
At the time, the fact that Dr. Moody and I were both interested in ancient Greece seemed like a delightful "synchronicity."
When I asked him for book recommendations he happily gave me the names of two books on necromancy, The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation and Greek and Roman Necromancy. Both of which I bought.
But what stood out to most both then and now about that lecture was what Dr. Moody said about a life almost wholly devoted to the study of NDE . Everything I have done in life, he told, is because of my interest in ancient Greece.
Not faith. Not science. Greece.
Ancient Greek culture was wonderful in many ways but the religion of Greece and its emphasis on the dreams and the dead was dark. And it is no coincidence, in my opinion, that those who are deeply interested in mediumship and witchcraft are drawn to it.
Is Near-Death Experience of demonic origin? Or is it a true experience of the divine?
I'm not sure. But an analysis of Scripture in Our Sunday Visitor rings true to me:
There are, however, some details [of NDEs] that seem at odds with Biblical accounts of what happens after we die. The Scriptures do not say we die and at once experience the pleasantries of heaven. Rather, our first destination is the judgment seat of Christ (cf. 2 Cor 5:10, Heb 9:27). Further, St. Paul describes a kind of fire that both purifies us and burns away any imperfections: “[The judgment day] will be revealed with fire, and the fire [itself] will test the quality of each one’s work. If the work stands that someone built upon the foundation, that person will receive a wage. But if someone’s work is burned up, that one will suffer loss; the person will be saved, but only as through fire” (1 Cor 3:13-15) Hence, Scripture does not present dying as mere or immediate pleasantries. Why do most NDEs skip these steps if they are authentic? - Our Sunday Visitor "What Should Catholics Make of Near-Death Experience"
I share a bit more on this topic in my podcast which you can listen to via the player below. Pictures of myself and Dr. Moody follow the player. If you are receiving this post via the elist and do not see the player you can access it directly through the blog or on the podcast page (at NewAgeToCatholic.com)
I hope to write more about this subject, both in my testimony that I have gone back to (again) and here in the blog. So please check back!
Dr. Moody and Me
Dr. Ray Moody is a lovely, gracious man and I enjoyed meeting him. This article does not in any way imply that he is a bad or evil person. I do believe however that it is easier to be negatively influenced, or deceived, than most people realize and have personal reservations about NDEs.
My Vampire Magic Challenge
"Noir or humorous, hard-boiled or cozy, mysteries are the descendants of morality plays, and in an increasingly ambiguous world, they provide the comfort of the absolutes of right or wrong..." - Gillian Roberts, You Can Write a Mystery
While what Gillian Roberts says here about right and wrong is usually true of mystery and crime fiction, it often NOT true of the genre I write in (paranormal fantasy). This is at least partially because it can be hard to reconcile some of the elements of the paranormal fantasy genre with what what we know to be true about morality. Or at least for me it is.
But I am trying.
This week I'm struggling to create a vampire magic system that draws a line between good and evil - in a way that makes sense for my story.
In some ways creating my system is relatively easy.
I am definitely not starting from scratch. Like Bram Stoker's Dracula, for example, my vampires are sensitive to holy and blessed items. Unlike Stoker, my vampires are not the undead - or irredeemable. Instead they are creatures who fell, just like the rest of us, but harder.
I still have a lot to work out. But I do know this. I want to divide good from evil, in my story, while still leaving room for hope.
Creating a Vampire Magic System
"As three laws were good enough for Newton, I have modestly decided to stop there." - Arthur Clarke
Like Clarke, Brandon Sanderson came up Three Laws. While Clarke's laws were about science fiction, however, Sanderson's are about fantasy.
They are:
- An author’s ability to solve conflict with magic is directly proportional to how well the reader understands said magic.
- The second law can be written very simply as: Limitations > Powers
- Expand what you already have before you add something new.
My magic system is very simple compared to the systems of most fantasy writers. It incorporates the rules I liked from Stoker and leaves out those that I don't.
Here's what I have so far:
- Vampires and to a lesser degree fae are not the undead or truly immortal. Instead they are ancient magical races with particular, fairly believable, abilities.
- All magical races possess a discernible energetic signature (name to be determined) that can be tracked by special fae trackers.
- Vampires hunger for and feed off human blood but since they are not the undead they also eat regular food and don't die if they can't get blood - though they are affected.
I have a long way to go with this.. Especially in terms of expanding what I have before I add new rules. But I am going to keep at it.
Wish me luck.
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You Can Write a Mystery (affiliate link) is available on Amazon in book ebook and print copy.
For more about Brandon Sanderson's Laws of Magic please visit his FAQ page here
Please note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a book through one of my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.
About The Image
The image above is a colorized version of "Saint Michael" by Italian master Guido Reni (1575–1642). This image is featured on the St. Michael printable prayer card available in my Etsy shop, Catholic Book And Card. For the card, I tinted the original paint to the vivid blue associated with Saint Michael (as shown above).
Saint Michael in the Bible
Saint Michael, is one of three archangels the Bible mentions by name (the others being Saints Raphael and Gabriel). Saint Michael is mentioned four times - twice in the Old Testament, and two more times in the new.
The first reference is in the Book of Daniel. In Chapter 10 St. Michael comes to comfort Daniel after he has had a vision, and promises to be his helper in all things. In Daniel 12, St. Michael is called "the great prince who standeth for the children of Thy people."
In these references St. Michael is shown to support Israel during the seventy years of the Babylonian captivity. In writing about St. Michael Daniel, strove to show his people that God had not forgotten them, and remind them that even in bondage they had a royal champion. In St. Jude 9, we are told that Michael disputed with the devil over the body of Moses - an episode not mentioned elsewhere in the Bible.
In the Revelation (Chapter 12) we find the most dramatic reference to St. Michael. Here St. John recounts the great battle in Heaven, when the wicked angels under Lucifer revolt against God. In this passage, Michael, leading the faithful angels, defeats the hosts of evil and drives them out.
Because of this victory, St. Michael is revered in Catholic tradition and liturgy as the protector of the Church.
Michael's battle against the rebel angels has been painted by many artists (one such painting serves as the main banner of this blog). It has been written about various writers, as well, including the poet Milton in book 6 of Paradise.
In the Eastern Church, St. Michael is placed over all the angels, as prince of the Seraphim. And, in Asia Minor, many curative springs were dedicated to him.
St. Michael is a powerful figure in spiritual warfare. He is considered to be the special patron of the sick, police officers, the military, the state of Israel and the Catholic Church. St. Michael's emblems are a banner, a sword, a dragon, and scales.
St. Michael's name is a variation of Micah, which asks (in Hebrew), "Who is like God?" It is the same question posed by Moses in Exodus 15:1-11. The passage, also called the Song of the Sea, is thought to be a very old section of Scripture that can still be heard today in the Mi Kamocha of Jewish worship:
Who is like You among the gods, Adonai? Who is like you? Glorious in holiness, awesome in praises...
About Michaelmas
Today September 29th is St. Michael’s feast day. During the middle ages this day - known as Michaelmas - was a holy day of obligation.
In 1969, the Novus Ordo Calendar added combined the feasts of St. Gabriel and St. Raphael with St. Michael's and discontinued the individual feasts of the archangels. Traditional Latin Mass congregations using the pre 1962 liturgical calendar keep the original dates for all three feasts. So, for me, this is St. Michael's day alone.
The SSPX (Society of St. Pius the X) devotional newsletter suggests that today is a good day to read the proper of the Mass of St. Michael, as found in the traditional missal. The newsletter also encourages us to "pray to St. Michael when temptations arise, especially those related to abuses of the internet, radio, and telephone."
The St. Michael Prayer
The Saint Michael Prayer is an amazing prayer for spiritual warfare. The abridged version (below) is short and easy to memorize and it can be said anytime you are feeling in need of spiritual protection. The prayer was written in Oct. 1, 1884 by Pope Leo XIII following a disturbing mystical experience at Mass.
The Pope had just finished celebrating Mass when he suddenly stood transfixed in front of the altar as if in a trance, his face drained of color. Once recovered, he went to his office and composed a prayer to St. Michael. He told his staff the prayer should be offered throughout the Church.
Pope Leo told others that he had heard two voices which he believed to voices of Our Lord and of Satan. The Pope heard Satan boast that he could destroy the Church in 75 or 100 years, if given the opportunity. Then he heard Our Lord give Satan permission to make the attempt.
The prayer was recited after Low Mass in the Catholic Church from 1886 until it was discontinued in 1964. Thirty years later, in his Regina Coeli address, Pope John Paul II said, “Although the prayer is no longer recited at the end of Mass, I ask every one not to forget it and to recite it to obtain help in the battle against the forces of darkness and against the spirit of the world.”
I'm happy to say that, at the SSPX Chapel I attend, the priest leads the faithful in the prayer to St. Michael after each and every Mass!
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the power of God - cast into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits, who roam about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
To purchase the St. Michael printable prayer card (75¢ US) please check out my Etsy listing here.
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The Noxxiin people are a society set adrift in space, in a fleet of refuge ships. Tattoos are central to their culture. And the tattoos inked by the guild artists of the Serix clan are especially significant. Some mark accomplishments, others disgrace. But they always speak the truth.
Or so Mariikel Serix a young, up and coming guild markmaker once believed.
Soon after "Markmaker" opens, however, we learn that Mariikel now suspects that he has given an exile mark to an innocent man. At great personal risk, the young markmaker begins to visit the place of exile, in the depths of the ship, to make amends.
As we follow him, we begin to learn that there is more to the Noxxiin than meets the eye.
This is the beginning of an epic story about the Noxxiin and their struggle to reclaim their ancestral homeland. But it is also a very personal story about one man coming to terms with a very difficult realization and rising to the challenge that is presented.
"Markmaker" hooked me immediately and kept me interested from beginning to end. I read it over the course of a single weekend and enjoyed every minute!
I especially appreciated the complex world of the Noxxiin and the idea that there is more to a culture than what what we see on the surface. In "Markmaker" I think the point is well made that it is often what's hidden that matters - whether it is what lies under the skin or below deck or just beneath the veneer of a society.
Highly recommended!
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Preorder Markmaker here! (affiliate link)
Please note, this post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you buy a book through one of these links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.
My Experience with Light and Dark
It's not a coincidence that the title of this post is a lot like the title of the blog.
I've toggled between light and dark enough, over the course of my life, for it to be a theme for me. And angels and demons are part of that theme.
Largely because I believe that I've had experience with both.
I believe, for example, that I've felt the influence of my guardian angel on several occasions. And I'm quite sure that I dealt with the demonic directly, and repeatedly, during my time in the occult.
I have tried (on multiple occasions) to write the story of my experience of spiritual light and darkness. But I've failed to finish that book.
So I decided to put a condensed version up here on the blog. That may well be the end of that particular story. But my interest in light and dark persists.
An Study in Contrast
I've been studying spiritual light and spiritual darkness ever since I came back to the faith. My reference, right now, is Catholic exorcist, Fr. Chad Ripperger's excellent book Dominion (affiliate link).
In Dominion, Fr. Ripperger breaks down the the teachings of "angel saint" (and flat-out genius) Thomas Aquinas on the topic of angels and demons. And Ripperger does so in a way that sacrifices nothing.
Or that's my sense of it anyway. I can't really know for sure because I find the writings of St. Thomas difficult. Dominion on the other hand is perfectly readable. Though this does NOT mean the book is a breeze (or at least it isn't for me).
For me, reading Dominion is a little like reading a textbook and, as with many textbooks, the only way I can really be sure I'm not missing anything is by taking notes as I go. This way of working through a book is slow going, however, and my wrist has been hurting lately - so I had set Dominion aside.
Then an interesting thing happened.
Talking About Angels
This week, I received a Facebook message from someone I had done a bit of Internet radio with when I was still in the New Age and occult. In the message I found a series of questions about my current beliefs. One in particular stood out.
"Do you still work with the angels?"
So I responded as best I could - basing much of what I said on what I'd learned from Fr. Ripperger's book.
I should get back to that book, I thought, and maybe I would have. Or maybe not.
Then, as luck or providence would have it, I finished writing out my response and went out for a walk. I was only a few blocks from the house when I noticed a book lying on the pavement in front of me. It was a Chicken Soup for the Soul book.
I'm not really a huge a fan of the series but the title did catch my attention.
"Believe in Angels."
I already do, I thought, though probably not in the way this particular book suggests.
Later that day I shared a picture of the Chicken Soup angel book with the person who'd sent the questions. She told me that she felt I was meant to read it. But it's my practice, as of late, to stick with books that are true to the faith.
So I went back to Dominion, sore wrist and all, and began to take notes.
To purchase Fr. Ripperger's book on Amazon, please click here: Dominion (affiliate link)
If you want to know more about my time in the New Age and occult, please check out My Story.
Please note, this post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you buy a book through one of these links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.
In this episode of New Age To Catholic, I talk about the concept of a Catholic "Rule of Life" and how it is directly opposed by the teachings of occultists like Aleister Crowley and Gerald Gardener. Topics covered include what a Rule of Life is and how having such a rule can help us withstand the many influences of popular culture. Relevant occult history is also discussed.
Please note: This is a new idea I'm just beginning to grapple with and I could have expressed it better. I will be doing some sort of blog post on it very soon, which will hopefully explain it better!
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To hear Fr. Ripperger's teaching on developing a Rule of Life please check out this video.
Today August 22nd, 2022 is the celebration of the Queenship of Mary. The day falls on the octave (8th day) after the Assumption and celebrates the coronation of Mary Queen of Heaven.
It is also the the second anniversary of this blog which was started on August 22, 2020 and my birthday.
Usually, in the days leading up to all of that I pause to take stock of my life and work and make plans for the coming year. While I haven't really done that this year, I do know that I want to increase my devotion to the Blessed Mother in the months ahead and to start spending more time on my Etsy shop and home projects.
I don't see any big changes looming in terms of my writing or media. I just want to continue on as I have been. It is my prayer, however, that a renewed focus on the Queen of Heaven will inform all of everything I do.
Thanks to everyone who has been keeping me company on this crazy journey!
I was walking through my hometown on the feast of the Assumption when I happened upon this beautiful Mary shrine. I decided to take some pictures and didn’t notice the ray light until I shared them later online.
Ransomed From Darkness
I read Moira Noonan's account of her experience in the New Age in 2018.
Back then it seemed like everyone who'd ever left the New Age and occult had done so in order to become a born-again Protestant.
But Noonan had returned to the Catholic Church. Her book, Ransomed From Darkness (affiliate link), was a resource I referred to again and again. It helped me understand that I could come back to the Catholic faith I had left behind some twenty years earlier, if I chose to do so. And finally I did choose, with the help of God's providence.
So when I decided to write my testimony, I hoped that my story might play a part in someone else's return to Catholicism - the way Moira Noonan's had in mine.
My Testimony
Unfortunately, the closer I got to finishing the book, I now called New Age To Catholic, the more reservations I had about publishing it. Finally last month I realized why that was.
I'd set out to write a story about New Age and occult deception and where that deception had taken me. And I'd ended up with a book that was mostly about intelligent evil.
I'm not saying that story isn’t worth telling because maybe it is.
But it isn't my testimony.
My testimony isn't about demons or darkness or how far I fell. It's about God and God's providence and how I came back to the Catholic Church.
So I decided to just tell that story - the God and Church story - in its shortest possible form and post it here on the blog.
I will continue to talk about the dangers of the New Age and occult here, and in the podcast. But, for now at least, I am setting the full length account of my experience aside.
Which leaves me space to do other things - like work on my novel and do media and make things for my Etsy shop. And, for now, that's enough.
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To read my online testimony please see My Story.
Please note, this post contains affiliate links. This means that if you purchase through one of my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.
The Assumption of Mary Novena is started on August 7th and finishes on August 15th. The feast day of the Assumption of Mary, which is a holy day of obligation in the Catholic Church, is on August 15th.
Novena Prayer*
Eternal Father, you graciously looked upon the humility of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and made her to be the Mother of the Word Incarnate, Jesus Christ our Lord. Grant we beseech you that we who honor her Assumption into the Kingdom of Heaven, may by her Motherly intercession also come to share in the inheritance of those whom you have redeemed by the precious Blood of your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.Most holy Immaculate Virgin and my Mother Mary, to thee who art the Mother of my Lord, the Queen of the world, the advocate, the hope, and the refuge of sinners, I have recourse today, I who am the most miserable of all. I render thee my most humble homage, O great Queen, and I thank thee for all the graces thou hast conferred on me until now. I love thee, O most amiable Lady; and for the love which I bear thee, I promise to serve thee always, and to do all in my power to make others love thee also. Dearest Mother bring before the throne of your beloved Son the prayers and intentions I ask during this novena.
(Here we mention our prayers. Pray for the intentions of our Holy Father the Pope, and for all the clergy. Pray also for the sick and dying, and for the suffering souls in purgatory)
I place in thee all my hopes; I confide my salvation to thy care. Accept me for thy servant, and receive me under thy mantle, O Mother of Mercy. And as thou art so powerful with God, deliver me from all temptations, or rather obtain for me the strength to triumph over them until death. Of thee I ask a perfect love for Jesus Christ. Through thee I hope to die a good death. O my Mother, by the love which thou bearest to God, I beseech thee to help me at all times, especially at the last moment of my life. Leave me not, I beseech thee, until I am safe in heaven, blessing thee, and singing thy mercies for all eternity. Amen.
The Memorare.
Assumption of Mary Prayer Card
About This Episode
Podcast
Video
- To read my testimony please see OfLightAndDark.com/p/my-story.html
- To download my testimony as a free PDF please visit my author website here BarbaraGraver.com/new-age-to-catholic/
- To learn more about the SSPX please check out SSPXpodcast.com
- Watch the documentary on Archbishop Lefebvre here youtube.com/watch?v=Cf9oy7wDkms
- To subscribe to my YouTube channel please visit YouTube.com/c/BarbaraGraver
- And please don't forget to follow my podcast, New Age To Catholic, on most major podcast apps, if you don't already!
She shall not fear for her house in the cold of snow: for all her domestics are clothed with double garments. She hath made for herself clothing of tapestry: fine linen, and purple is her covering. Her husband is honourable in the gates, when he sitteth among the senators of the land. She made fine linen, and sold it, and delivered a girdle to the Chanaanite. Strength and beauty are her clothing, and she shall laugh in the latter day. - Proverbs 31:21-25
St. Anne is the mother of Mary, and grandmother of Jesus. To be honest, I have never actually had a much of a devotion to St. Anne but today is her feast day which leads me to ask:
Why is St. Anne so important?
A few years ago I might have said that St. Anne was important because she was the mother of Mary - and not been impressed. Because, at that time in my life, I felt a little sorry for women who seemed to lose themselves in their children.
And I very much wanted to be "more than a mother."
Today, of course, I would be happy to go back and "just" be that. But this post isn't about me, or at least not only about me. It's about women and mothers why the enemy seems so determined to destroy us.
Back to the Garden
And the serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die the death. For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods... - Genesis 3:4-5
I saw a headstone once in the cemetery where many of the members of my family are buried. Beloved Wife, it said on the front. And then on the back, engraved so lightly I almost missed it:
"And where Eve was, there was Eden."
How beautiful, I thought then. But now I think, how true.
As woman, we have the power to create or destroy our homes - practically, emotionally and spiritually. Which is probably why God did not want Israelite men to marry foreign (pagan) women.
It is also, in my opinion, why Satan has targeted women - going all the way back to the beginning.
The lie Satan told Eve was the lie that brought down a third of God's holy angels - a false promise that has been made over and over again by the occult, and the New Age, and the society we live in.
And it keeps right on repeating, telling us we can attain wisdom and enlightenment by exalting ourselves - and that freedom from authority is the key to our glory.
A Modern Application
He was a murderer from the beginning, and he stood not in the truth; because truth is not in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father thereof. - John 8:44
The promise Satan made to Eve is a lie. But it is persistent.
In modern society, the lie is shored up by things like abortion and divorce and the proliferation of single parent families - and all of this is destructive. I know that first-hand because I got divorced when my youngest son was two and went on to head a single parent family. Sadly, in many ways, my children have paid the price.
And they are not alone.
In a 2014 article by Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, Dr. Jane Anderson cites multiple studies which identify the following challenges in children whose parents divorce:
- Lost time with each parent
- Decreased economic security
- Lose of emotional security
- Decreased social and psychological maturation
- Changes in outlook on sexual behavior
- Loss of religious faith and practice (Myers 1996)
- Decreased cognitive and academic stimulation
- Diminished physical health
- Increased risk of emotional distress
There are clearly negative long-term consequences of divorce—children, parents, and society all suffer. Wallerstein's long-term study shows that many children never have full “recovery” as each special event, holiday, or celebration reminds the child of his/her loss. Given these tremendous costs borne by all individuals affected by divorce, as well as the costs to society, it is the responsibility of physicians—especially pediatricians, who care for children in the context of their families—to advocate for public health policies that promote marriage and decrease the likelihood of divorce. - Dr. Jane Anderson, MD
So marriage and traditional approach to family is important. But what about St. Anne?
Interestingly, even though I am now a very different person, my opinion about St. Anne hasn't really changed. I still think that St. Anne is important because she was a wife and a mother. But I no longer see that as limiting.
Instead, I understand that motherhood is the best part of God's plan for us and that therein lies grace.
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- To read Dr. Anderson's article in full please see The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce at the National Library of Medicine website.
- For more on this topic, please see my video on Toxic Feminism. Or Listen to the audio via the podcast player below.
Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee. - Augustine of Hippo, Confessions of St. Augustine
Dark Fiction and Me
I wrote several manuscripts when I was away from the faith. And to this day, even though I am a very, though not entirely different person, I still like the one I wrote about vampires best.
The only problem is, I have no idea what to do with it. It is too dark. Too flawed. Too who-I-used-to-be.
So, you can imagine my excitement, when I learned that the Catholic Writers Guild (or CWG) 2022 online conference was offering a panel called "Harrowings: Trauma and Darkness in Catholic Fiction."
The CWG Panelists
There were four people on the Harrowings panel: a moderator, Dr. William Gonch, SciFi author, Matthew P. Schmidt, and paranormal and fantasy authors, J.B. Toner and Karen Ullo.
Although, I hadn't come to the panel to to ask about my own work, the question I found myself typing into the Q & A box was about one of my old, orphaned vampire stories. I wanted to know if it was possible to fix a story written back when I was a different person, alone in the dark.
The Advice I Was Given
Matthew P. Schmidt
When answering my question SciFi author Matthew Schmidt referenced his own book, World of Wishes, which he started seven years earlier and had just recently finished. Schmidt pointed out that the current plot of World of Wishes, hinges on a Catholic element, which wasn't even included in the original draft. This missing piece, which was added in revision, made it possible for him to finish the book.
Schmidt's comments helped me, because I realized that there were important Catholic elements missing from my story too. In the original vampire draft, I was writing from a place of faithlessness. So I hadn't even bothered to include accepted vampire lore about the power of crucifixes and other sacramentals. These were elements that I needed to add in, I realized, when I revised the storyline.
J.B. Toner
J.B. Toner, author of Whisper Music talked about Anne Rice, and the great Victorian poet Gerald Manley Hopkins who "burned the poems he wrote in his youth when he became a priest." Toner went on to say this, about Hopkins and writing and darkness:
[That Hopkin's burned his poetry] ...is kind of tragic but I get why – because I look back to things I’ve written in my life, when I was not being a good Catholic, and some of it is stuff that I am personally ashamed of because of the way it reflects on me as a person. But, that is a separate question from: Is it artistically good and could it benefit readers? And what we always have to keep doing is take ourselves out of it. Remove ourselves, remove our egos, from the process, because I’ve written this thing and if people read it it might make me look bad but it doesn’t matter…because it might help them. Go back to it with what you know now, read through it honestly - if you think that it has potential to be good - [and] maybe you can fix it in light of what you’ve learned since you wrote it - then I think it’s absolutely worth a second chance even if, maybe especially if, it’s very hard to do - because that’s really where the best writing comes from.
These comments meant a lot to me. At my core I know that ego is very much a part of this. I was struggling with some dark things when I wrote my vampire story and I do worry about what people will think about me when they read it. This is something I need to get a handle on.
And the advice and encouragement meant a lot to me.
Karen Ullo
Karen Ullo, author of Jennifer the Damned (which I loved and previously reviewed here) and editor for Chrism Press, had some excellent advice as well. She began by referencing a beautiful, literate novel (which I also loved) called City Mother. Ullo edited this book for Chrism and shared a bit about the author, Maya Sinha. As it turns out, Sinha began City Mother before she became a Catholic then went back to it after and saw there were Catholic elements already embedded there.
Ullo went on to say:
The book couldn’t be written until she became Catholic because that’s what was missing from the story. And honestly that’s what’s missing from the story of our own lives, the story of salvation… I highly recommend the Sci-Fi fantasy critique group to bring to find those elements that can be teased out - Because I suspect, just like Maya, our hearts are restless until they rest in thee - so those element of longing, those elements of looking for redemption, looking for faith are always going to be there, no matter who wrote it at what point in time – if they were being honest. So it’s there, whatever it is, it’s there you just have to find it.
I loved hearing this because I think that Karen Ullo is absolutely right. We are always waiting to be redeemed, whether we know it or not. This was my own personal experience, in fact, all through the darkness.
Of God and Darkness
In the first few months, after the conference I took a stab at editing my old work. I was trying to take myself out of my own way, as J.B. Toner had talked about. But I couldn't really do it. So I didn't make a lot of progress on my revisions.
But I did pray about what I was trying to do and, as I did, one thing became clear to me. If I was going to rewrite this particular story - evil would have to be evil. It could still be bright and sparkly and pretty and but, underneath the glitz, the bad guys would have to actually do what bad guys do.
Just as importantly, the good guys (or girls) had to really and truly oppose them.
So I took another look at the original manuscript and was surprised to see that this theme really was already there (in a confused sort of way). And I began to feel that I might have something I could work with.
I started to participate in the CWG critique group. As the weeks passed, I began to feel that putting my old vampire fiction up for discussion might be a good idea. Finally, this week, I did just that.
I have not forgotten how, in the wake of NaNoWriMo, I was absolutely convinced that returning to my old fiction was a mistake (as is on record in this video and in episode 5 of the podcast).
And, the truth is, I'm still not convinced I was wrong about that. I don't know if my vampire story is salvageable. I don't know if I will ever publish it. But, because of the Harrowings panel, I'm going to give it a shot.
As always, I will keep you in the loop.
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- Check out the Catholic Writers Guild at: CatholicWritersGuild.org
- Visit Matthew P. Schmidt's website at: MatthewPSchmidt.com
- Visit J.B. Toner's website at: JBtonerz.wixsite.com/website
- Visit Karen Ullo's website at: KarenUllo.com
In this episode of my podcast, I share my thoughts on paranormal investigation and a short but very clear EVP. While I know that a lot of people investigate the paranormal with the best of intentions, in my experience paranormal investigation was a gateway to the occult.
For more on paranormal investigation and phenomena, please check out my paranormal page. To follow my podcast, just look for New Age To Catholic on your favorite podcast app or visit my podcast page at NewAgeToCatholic.com.
I talk about the paranormal and paranormal investigation on my Paranormal Phenomena page. But I'd like to share some specific recommendations here.
A Word on Ghosts
While the Church has no definitive teaching on ghosts, many Catholics (including Church sanctioned exorcists and demonologists) believe that human spirits can contact the living - with the express permission of God - in order to ask for prayer or to make simple amends.
And this is it.
If a spirit tries to feed you information, initiates a relationship or attempts any kind of ongoing communication it is ALWAYS demonic.
For more on the topic, I recommend the book Purgatory Explained By the Lives and Legends of the Saints by Fr. F.X. Schopppe, S.J. (affiliate link) which bears an 1893 Imprimatur. This book shares many stories of souls in purgatory who asked the saints for prayer. While ordinary people rarely get such requests, it does happen.
Spirits may appear in dreams, visions or as dark shapes or shadows. There may be a strong feeling of being watched, unexplained sounds or any other phenomena for which there is no apparent explanation.
Paranormal investigation may lead to an increase in this kind of activity because investigators may unintentionally attract evil spirits. I do not recommend it.
A Catholic Friendly Approach
If you feel you've had a visitation or have encountered a presence in your house, get the house blessed by a Catholic priest (or the faith leader of your denomination). If phenomena persists or reoccurs, it's a good idea to contact that priest again.
Initiating contact with spirits is NEVER a good idea. Consider the following as an appropriate response to any unusual phenomena you experience:
- Make a good confession, go to Mass and receive Holy Communion.
- Ask you parish priest to bless your home or location.
- Utilize the prayers from Fr. Chad Ripperger's Deliverance Prayers for the Laity (affiliate link) as recommended in the book.
- Put blessed holy objects in every room and hang a blessed crucifix over all outside doors.
- Utilize sacramentals like holy water and exorcized salt.
- Pray the Rosary daily in a central part of the house. Aloud if possible. If you understand Latin, pray at least some of the Rosary in Latin.*
- Play Gregorian chant (sung by actual Catholic monks) in your home. Playing this softly in your room at night is also helpful.
- Pray for the departed loved one you may have encountered and the Holy souls in purgatory. Arrange for a Mass for that loved one if possible.
Please note. You do NOT have to be Catholic in order to pray for the Holy souls in purgatory. Demons are always looking for a way to tempt us (often by making us feel special or popular or privy to some sort of secret knowledge).
Given half a chance they WILL outsmart us.
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*If you're interested in learning the Rosary in Latin, I have Latin-English Rosary printable trifold in my Etsy shop for $1.25 USD. You can see it here.
Please check out my podcast on the dangers of the paranormal featuring an actual EVP I recorded when I was a paranormal investigator here.
Please note, this post includes Amazon affiliate links. If you make a purchase using one of my links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
There are Church approved books describing many instances of souls manifesting to the living to signal their need for prayer... Though souls in purgatory have been allowed to speak to the saints, that is usually not the situation for the average person.... In the cases of the saints they did not call up the spirits or seek guidance, information, or comfort from them. Once the request for prayer was made communication stopped on both sides... Any communication beyond “help me,” or some other request for prayer, is almost certainly demonic deception. - Possessions, Exorcisms and Hauntings
Where I Got My Saint Benedict Medal
About The Jubilee Medal of St. Benedict
Origin and Explanation of the Medal
Meaning of the Latin
The Letters on the Other Side of the Medal
There was a time when I was fascinated with cemeteries. When I was involved in paranormal investigation and mediumship, in fact, they were my favorite place for recording EVPs and taking spirit photos.
A Paranormal Memorial Day
Back to the Cemetery
The first rule: in persons who are going from mortal sin to mortal sin, the enemy is ordinarily accustomed to propose apparent pleasures to them, leading them to imagine sensual delights and pleasures in order to hold them more and make them grow in their vices and sins. - The Rules of St. Ignatius
Why the Interest in Spiritual Warfare & the Demonic?
I've been studying spiritual warfare and the demonic (along with a range of traditional Catholic topics) ever since I came back to the Catholic Church in May of 2020. Some of the reasons for my interest in these topics include:
- I had direct personal experience with the demonic when I was involved in the occult and I was still confused about some of the things that had happened to me.
- I was experiencing a lot of spiritual warfare (and actually still do) because of the many doors I had opened during my time in the occult and needed to learn more about how to deal with it.
- I love to read and take notes and learn new things. One of the best feelings I know is the one you get when things that didn't make sense before finally start to fall into place.
Why I Almost Didn't Blog on These Topics
I thought people would consider a blog about such topics weird or dark.
I was afraid I'd experience an uptick in spiritual warfare.
I was afraid that other Catholics would tell me I had no business writing on spiritual warfare & demonic influence
Q: How do I become a demonologist? A: Why would you want to? Many people in the paranormal community, and in the public, seem to think demonology is "cool" or "exciting" or will make them famous. These reasons fade very quickly for those who actually meet a demon. Being a demonologist is a spiritual calling that leads one to live part of their life in nightmare environments of intense physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering that people go through. People don't choose to be demonologists or exorcists; God makes people demonologists or exorcists.
I don't necessarily disagree with the points made here. Because Blai is a practicing psychologist and a demonologist, I believe that he does see a LOT of suffering and I commend him for the work that he does. While I am certainly not an expert, however, I still feel called to share my own personal experience.
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