I've been thinking about writing my testimony for some time now. Not because I want to necessarily but because I feel that my experience of spiritual light and spiritual darkness is a story I need to tell in full.
When it comes to the actual writing, however, I flounder. I pray about it. I try to write it. I give up. Then the cycle starts again.
Sometimes I decide it is not worth doing and step away from it entirely. At other times I get ideas about how I might be able to make it work and start to feel like I can actually do it.
This week was an idea week.
The idea was that I could base the testimony around the dreams have influenced me the most - for better or for worse - and how sometimes that influence is supernatural in origin.
I trace the idea back to Catholic exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger and his wonderful book Dominion - where explains how angels and demons communicate with each other and with us.
Both angels and demons, according to Fr. Ripperger, can put images into our minds. But only angels can illuminate our minds so that we understand the images we've been given. This makes sense to me given the confusion that so often accompanies demonic dreams and visions.
The idea - that I could base my testimony around dreams - was intriguing because dreams have been so instrumental to my story - in both good ways and bad ways. So I decided to look at the (very few) dreams I'd shared in this blog. One was demonic. The other, I believe, was not.
Two things jumped out at me about the non-demonic dream, The first was that it was specifically about me telling my story. The second was that it also seemed to be about me accepting my authentic self, which I've been doing lately, in this blog and elsewhere, but was definitely not doing then.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this dream was angelic. But it did speak to me.
I'm not sure, to be honest, if I will ever publish my testimony. But I do feel that looking at the role dreams played in my journey is worth doing. I will be sharing some of what I learn in a future post.
UPDATE: Since writing this post I've put a short form testimony up on the blog. I'm not currently planning on publishing a full length testimony though I will be continuing to blog and podcast on the New Age and occult.
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- Read my short form testimony right here on the blog: My Story
- You can read my authentic self dream here.
- You can read about the dream that led me into the darkness here.
- To listen to my audio testimony please see my testimony post (but please keep in mind that both of these recordings were made some time ago and that I see things a little differently now)
There are Church approved books describing many instances of souls manifesting to the living to signal their need for prayer... Though souls in purgatory have been allowed to speak to the saints, that is usually not the situation for the average person.... In the cases of the saints they did not call up the spirits or seek guidance, information, or comfort from them. Once the request for prayer was made communication stopped on both sides... Any communication beyond “help me,” or some other request for prayer, is almost certainly demonic deception. - Possessions, Exorcisms and Hauntings
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